Why Are There So Many Single Men?

Why Are There So Many Single Men?
In the episode of "The Millers" titled "Internet Dating," one of the main characters has an online dating profile. The producers of the Conquer Series of DVDs explain why that method of finding "the perfect match" is becoming futile for so many men.

The producers of the six-DVD Conquer Series say that while helping those looking for “the perfect mate” may be a profitable business venture, it can also be futile for many men.

Studies show the percentage of married Americans is the lowest it’s been since 1920, and the marriage age has reached its oldest ever. Men aren’t marrying until they’re nearly 30 years old, on average, and fewer of them are staying married for the rest of their lives.

The reason why is porn.

MAKES MARRIAGE UNATTRACTIVE

In November 2014, The Institute for the Study of Labor in Germany analyzed more than 1,000 surveys of men aged 18 to 35 and found that porn makes marriage less attractive to men because they are able to find “low cost sexual gratification” in other ways. Author, historian, and activist Dr. Judith Reisman likens it to a 1960s experiment involving gypsy moths.

The moths were introduced many years earlier by someone who thought the U.S. needed its own silk industry, but instead the bugs ate up the country’s trees. Pesticides couldn’t eradicate them, so they came up with the idea of a lab-produced smell that would overpower the smell of female gypspy moths at mating time.

Male gypsy moths seeking females with which to mate couldn’t find their perfect mate because the natural scent couldn’t compete with the lab-produced version.

Reisman said:

"She’s all over the place, but he is not finding her … Eventually, they couldn’t mate [and] they died, because that smell never equals what she’s got. In essence, that is exactly what has been happening with pornography."

MARRIAGE RATES AFFECTED

In a biblical relationship, marriage means sexual gratification, but porn allows it to be found outside the marital bounds, which affects marriage rates. Today, men ages 25 to 34 are six times more likely to never have been married, and men ages 35 to 44 are four times as likely than they were in 1970.

Porn use in marriage also is associated with unhappiness in marriage, lowering the frequency of intimate relations and increasing the likelihood of having an affair, or getting divorced.

The ISL study also claims that 87 percent of young men use porn, meaning the vast majority of young men are growing up with an attachment to a synthetic perception of sexual gratification that can have a substantial impact on our society in the years to come.

BRAIN CHEMISTRY CHANGES

According to Dr. Weiss, executive director of Heart to Heart Counseling Center, and Dr. Tim Jennings, neuroscientist and author of The God Shaped Brain, there are some chemical reasons that men become embroiled in pornography and can’t let go.

Neurochemicals as powerful as narcotics flood the brain when watching it. Weiss said:

"Whatever a man looks at, at the point of orgasm, he will attach to."

Bonding hormones, such as oxytocin and vasopressin, which are normally released when a man and a woman are skin to skin with each other are released when a man watches porn. These neurochemicals were designed by God to give us pleasure within the right relationships and by performing the right actions, but when they’re done outside of God’s will they create addictions and a cycle of shame that accompanies their behavior.

Jennings added:

"Addictions decouple the higher cortical functions. When we do that through pornography... [it] surges dopamine into the pleasure circuits in a very similar way that drugs do, and it... damages those areas of the brain.

So over the course of time, as you do this, the dopamine circuits of the brain become less responsive to normal pleasure."

He continued with a strawberry analogy to explain how after porn use godly pleasure is no longer pleasurable.

To someone who is “really starving, ravenous, and hungry,” a fresh bowl of strawberries will taste sweet and he would derive pleasure from eating them. But, after eating a candy bar, the same bowl of fruit might taste downright sour. The strawberries didn’t change—his brain did because he artificially overstimulated his taste receptors with a high concentration of manmade sweetener.

RESETTING THE BRAIN

The producers of the Conquer Series state there are ways to “reset” a brain that’s hooked on porn, and it doesn’t involve willpower or trying harder. It does, however, require the creation of new neural pathways in the brain

Dr. Ted Roberts, the former Marine Corps fighter pilot, pastor, and host of the six-DVD series said:

"Telling a man to try harder is only tightening the noose. Our goal with the Conquer Series is to give men a battle plan for purity. We’ve got a great tool here that will change lives.'

Reisman, Weiss, Jennings, and Roberts are among the many experts featured in the Conquer Series, which has helped more than 450,000 men free themselves from pornography and sexual sin, while providing practical steps and biblically based principles to live in purity.

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